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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth - Lack of Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I've been going out with a guy for almost a year. But
the problem is that I
don't really talk about anything.
He's always telling
me to talk about
something, but I never have anything to talk about.
I don't know what it is,
but I'm afraid that he will leave me.
Chicken
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Dear Fearful,
You lack some serious self-confidence.
Why are you so
fearful of rejection?
Why are you so frightened to
express yourself?
If he's been seeing you for a year,
he obviously sees something in you.
Think of it like
this: what do you talk about with other people?
What
makes you a unique and important individual?
What
makes you special and wonderful?
Think hard and find
the things within yourself that excite and interest
you.
Do you have anything in your life that is just
too neat for words!
Bottom line is that we have to
really love and value ourselves before anyone else can
really love and value us.
That makes the thought of
abandonment a lot less scary.
If he wants you to talk,
even if you can't think of anything to say, ask him
about himself, his interests, what he did that day,
etc.
The more you stay silent and hold back, the more
fearful you will become. Tell him that it is sometimes
hard for you to talk openly but that you want to.
Do
the two of you share any interests in common?
When you
go to the movies, do you discuss what you've seen?
Life is so full of so many things...surely there is
something you can find to say.
My concern here is that
you have not yet discovered the your own specialness
and that makes it hard for you to share yourself.
Once
you do, this problem will be gone.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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