Free relationship advice for guy who thinks he's in love with a girl who has a boyfriend
What IS Love?

What is real LOVE? How do I know if it's love or infatuation or just a crush

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I need to know - What is Love?


1) Who should Love more - the guy or the girl?

In a relationship, should it be the guy or the girl to love more or should there be equality?

2) How do you know if it's a crush, infatuation or love?

Please help me...

Thanks a lot,

What is love, how will I know if I'm in love

Dear "Confused"

    Thank you for your excellent questions.
    These are easy to ask and difficult to answer but here goes: I'll start with the second one first.

    In the beginning, infatuation (or a crush) and love feel exactly the same.

    We feel like our hearts are opening up for the first time and being around the person of our choice feels just like magic, like someone has cast a spell on us and that the world fades away in the presence of our beloved.

    Colors are brighter, birds sing more sweetly and happiness overwhelms us. This is wonderful news when it happens.

    Unfortunately, the down side is that these feelings of being inebriated on love do not last for very long. Once they fade, people are disappointed that they no longer feel the crush or infatuation to the intensity that they did before; they therefore feel they have fallen "out of love."

    Actually, this is where love begins and infatuation ends.

    Real love means understanding and sharing with our loved ones as deeply as possible.

    Real love is the total acceptance of another human being with all their flaws, and believe me, we all have them.

    Real love means letting go of all pretense, fantasy, expectations that our lover will be perfect and that we will never feel negatively and get angry at them.     This is pure nonsense.

    The problem that most teenagers have is that once this infatuated feeling dies, they don't have the understanding to let the love pass into the next stage which is more like the one I just described and, while it doesn't seem as exciting anymore, it is replaced by a feeling of security and completeness which is marvelous and comforting, safe and loving.

    As far as your first concern: all real love is based on mutual respect, admiration and concern with each others well-being.

    Having said that, equality is the only way!

    Now this doesn't mean that we all always feel equal in our feelings.

    Sometimes, one person in a relationship will feel closer and the other more distant but, overall, people in close relationships should feel equally close and equally loving.

    They should feel the complete safety to be wholly themselves and they should feel that, while they could probably survive life on their own, having this particular person enhances their sense of why they have been put on this planet!

    Remember, nothing else matters without love.

    As the Beatles have said: "Love is all you really need!"

Dr. TRuth

How can you tell -- this advice helps you find out if it's love

Dr. TRuth answers the question - "How can I tell if it's love or if he's playing me?"

or check out --

Love or Infatuation?

Chemistry and Infatuation

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Relationship advice, love advice and free advice from a therapist for people who write letters asking for help with personal problems, boyfriends, girlfriends and more issues with relationships. How can you tell if it's love or a crush or infatuation or desperation? Relationship advice for a girl who wants to know how to tell if I'm in love - what it feels like, what the indications are for a real bf, gf or genuine girlfriend, boyfriend ... Men, women boys girls -- the big question answered -- is it luv. This free relationship advice helps you find out if it is love. Relationship advice who loves more? It swings back and forth, but should end up equal -- both people loving each other the same.