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Love and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - Dr. TRuth - our own "Links 2 Love" - love doctor serves up the truth...

   Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Doctor TRuth,

Hi, I'm in college right now and maintaining a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and things are going well. We're both pretty serious about each other and discussed marriage before.

However I met a guy, let's call him X, a while ago and we're just friends. I told him I like him just as a friend, but he's been sending me signals that say I'm more than a friend to him.

I feel like I have this incredible connection with X, like we're soulmates, and we connect and share our interests on a level that I've not experienced before.

While I still love my boyfriend, I like X a lot.

I don't really know where to draw the line between X and I, or if I even can.

Please help!

Dear "Please Help"

Your feelings are entirely normal and completely appropriate to your age. What you are telling me is that you have been in one relationship since you were 17 and that you don't have much experience dating others.

While it is wonderful that you had the strength of character to maintain a long distance relationship at your age, it may not be to your advantage to miss out on the important experiences that others of your age need to have in the very important process of mate selection and maturity.

Your feelings for X should tell you that you have a need to explore other options for yourself. I realize that this is an incredibly hard thing to admit after being in a long term relationship, but it is what is happening.

You have changed a lot in the years you have been away and your attraction for X symbolizes this. He may in fact be much more reflective of who you are right now, and that is why you feel so irresistibly drawn to him.

Look at it this way: the task of life between 18 and 25 is to find out really who we are, what we like, and whom we should be with. This takes a lot of experimentation and experience.

If we choose too early, we don't allow the self that will develop through these experiences to fully evolve. Right now, a part of you knows this and you are in conflict about letting yourself go with what is happening in the present because you have committed to someone way before you were emotionally ready to do this.

I will not make this choice for you, however it is probably in your best interest to tell your boyfriend that you need some time away to think about what you really want.

If this relationship is destined to be, it will be there in the long run.

In the meantime, you need to trust your feelings and allow yourself to have the experiences all young people need to grow and develop.

Dr. TRuth

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