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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
Hi.
I have been married
not even 2 months and we
are fighting all the time.
I feel like we should
have never got married.
He
yells at me alot I wish he didn't have a temper. I
need steps and advice on
what to do.
I don't even look foward to the weekends
anymore.
Thanks
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This definitely sounds like the honeymoon is over!
How
long did you know him before you got married, anyway?
When did you discover he had this terrible temper? Is
alcohol involved in anyway with his tantrums? Does he
come from a family which is broken or which treats
each other the way he is treating you?
Anyway, this
does not sound good to me at all and it is definitely
a case of verbal abuse which is making you miserable.
I have two suggestions for you:
1. There is an
excellent book available through Amazon called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship"
by Patricia Evans.
2. You need to nip this behavior pattern in the bud or
else it will only escalate.
Further, please do not
have children with him yet.
You need to tell him to
cut it out immediately when he starts to yell at you.
Tell him you are not a child and that you do not
deserve this.
He has an anger problem and men like
this use their power to control and manipulate to get
their way.
Tell him that because of this you would
like the two of you to go for couples counseling if
this is an option. If he won't go, you need to go to
find out what is going on with you.
If you allow this
to continue, it will erode your confidence and
self-esteem.
Do not make the mistake of thinking this
will get better without help.
It won't.
Take care of
yourself; do not allow your husband or anyone else for
that matter to treat you like this.
Good luck. Keep me posted and thank you for your
letter.
Many young women find themselves married to a
"Jeckyll and Hyde" and will be helped by your letter.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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