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Love and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - Dr. TRuth - our own "Links 2 Love" - love doctor serves up the truth...

   Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth
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Dear Doctor TRuth,

A couple of months ago, my bestfriend, who's like a sister to me, finally went out with this guy she's been liking since the fifth grade, three years ago.
They stayed together for about a month or two, then my best friend dumped him. Now she likes him again, a lot, I can tell by the way she's always talking about him. But now the word is that he likes me!
The truth is, now that I see him more often, I'm starting to like him too. I told my bestfriend this, and she's encouraging me to go with him, but I can see it would bother her, but she won't let it go, until I go with him.
I feel so bad about this, because there's more.
Over the summer I met this guy and we sorta hooked up, but it was only a physical attraction. I was shocked to find out that my bestfriend liked this guy too. I had no idea!!!!
All the guilt is getting to me, and despite all this, she still wants me and her ex to hook up.
What should I do???


Dear "Guilty"

You sound like a wonderful and good friend.
Like many female relationships, there is sometimes a bit of envy and competition, even among the best of friends.
My question for you is why are you letting your friend decide who you should "hook up" with.
What does your own heart tell you?
If there is something real going on with you and her ex, whether she wants it or not is not the issue. The issue is: do the two of you really like each other?
If you do, then she will have to accept it. After all, it's not like you stole him from her. They were not together when the two of you started to like each other.
As far as the second guy goes, if she hasn't told you that she likes him, why feel guilty?
It's not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong.
I admire your sensitivity to your best friend but at the same time, you are really not responsible for her feelings. Try to figure out which guy you like. Try not to worry so much about what's good for her. That is her issue.
We all have to decide what is best for us in our own lives.
If we are happy and we haven't really done anything to hurt another person, we all win.
Your friend needs to handle her own feelings and it does sound as though she wants you to be happy as well.
Remember that feeling guilty never really helps anyone, it just makes us miserable.

Dr. TRuth

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