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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
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Dear Doctor TRuth,
A couple of months ago, my bestfriend, who's like a sister to me,
finally went out with this guy she's been liking since the fifth grade,
three years ago.
They stayed together for about a month or two, then my
best friend dumped him. Now she likes him again, a lot, I can tell by
the way she's always talking about him. But now the word is that he
likes me!
The truth is, now that I see him more often, I'm starting to
like him too. I told my bestfriend this, and she's encouraging me to go
with him, but I can see it would bother her, but she won't let it go,
until I go with him.
I feel so bad about this, because there's more.
Over
the summer I met this guy and we sorta hooked up, but it was only a
physical attraction. I was shocked to find out that my bestfriend liked
this guy too. I had no idea!!!!
All the guilt is getting to me, and despite
all this, she still wants me and her ex to hook up.
What should I do???
"Guilty"
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Dear "Guilty"
You sound like a wonderful and good friend.
Like many
female relationships, there is sometimes a bit of envy
and competition, even among the best of friends.
My
question for you is why are you letting your friend
decide who you should "hook up" with.
What does your own heart tell you?
If there is something real going
on with you and her ex, whether she wants it or not is
not the issue. The issue is: do the two of you really
like each other?
If you do, then she will have to
accept it. After all, it's not like you stole him from
her. They were not together when the two of you
started to like each other.
As far as the second guy
goes, if she hasn't told you that she likes him, why
feel guilty?
It's not your fault and you haven't done
anything wrong.
I admire your sensitivity to your
best friend but at the same time, you are really not
responsible for her feelings. Try to figure out which
guy you like. Try not to worry so much about what's
good for her. That is her issue.
We all have to
decide what is best for us in our own lives.
If we are
happy and we haven't really done anything to hurt
another person, we all win.
Your friend needs to
handle her own feelings and it does sound as though
she wants you to be happy as well.
Remember that
feeling guilty never really helps anyone, it just
makes us miserable.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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