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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
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Dear Doctor TRuth,
During the past year I have had a rough time with women. I am 18
years old.
My first try I blew after two dates. I made the mistake of
telling her she could not date other guys.
The next girl I got really serious with, however after we had our first "sexual encounter(not sex)" a few days later she stopped calling and having interest.
The next girl really liked me but some how I messed up and she then had no interest in us being more than friends.
Finally, the last girl I guess I annoyed with lack of trust. After I was told that we should only "be friends", I again pursued her and we once again got back to dating.
However, again I came back to the "just friends" scenario.
Now there is a new girl my friend introduced me to. I have only seen her and have never talked to her and I feel with the right advice I can do right with
her.
My friend has told me I become too controlling with girls and this is
why I always come to "lets be friends" scenario. If she is indeed
interested in me I plan on asking her on a date and pursuing a
relationship.
Please tell me how I could do things different
with this girl so that we perhaps can be more than "just friends".
Thank you for your time.
"18"
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Dear "18"
You have answered your own question: stop trying to
run things.
Trying to control or make demands too early in a relationship is a real turn-off.
Would you like someone to do that to you? Probably not!
If you halfway like this new girl, take it very slowly and play a little hard to get. Telling someone you want it to be exclusive before you actually fall in love
will only drive them off.
Honestly, the best way to handle this is to develop a friendship first and let
it build into something more. If you like this new girl, date her but don't try to "own" her. By doing that, you only betray a lack of self confidence and
that is not appealing.
The most confident and self-assured people I know like themselves enough to
know that other people will like them too. Even if you don't feel that way just yet, acting like you feel this way will eventually build your confidence.
Unless you believe that you are really worth being with, you will have a hard time convincing others of this fact.
So, take it slow and good luck!
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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