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Love and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - Dr. TRuth - our own "Links 2 Love" - love doctor serves up the truth...

   Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Doctor TRuth,

I was seeing "Bill" last July. We met through a friend and he lives pretty far away, but not too far that it would be hard to hang out on weekends.

We hung out a few times and the dates were wonderful. But his car broke down and I don't drive. So for the past 6 months we've been talking on the phone and exchanging emails just about every other night, so I know we're compatible, and we still tell each other we have feelings for each other.

Although his car is broken down, he still hasn't made any other efforts to see me. I hadn't seen any other guys because of my feelings for him, but after he promised we'd do something over spring break and we never did I got angry.

I started seeing "Bob" recently. I like him a lot, and I see him a lot. The only problem is that I still have strong feelings for "Bill."

Recently, Bill has been promising we're going to see each other. So, when I finally told Bill about Bob, he explained to me the reason he'd been promising is because he just bought a car and was going to surprise me with a visit.

Now I do not know what to do or who to go for.

Bob is much more practical and stable, while Bill has a lot of issues and things. But I can't help my strong feelings for him. He's a very noble guy and isn't angry at me for this, he just feels guilty because he knows he could've prevented the situation. So I do not know what to do or who to choose.

My gut says to go with Bill, but who knows if I'll once again be sitting around for another 6 months...there's no guarantees. Plus, I do not know whether to say anything to Bob, or what I should say in the meantime while I'm deciding.

I can't pretend that everything is ok.

Thank you! Any advice would be wonderful!


Dear "Confused"

You don't say how old you are and that information would be helpful, but I will give you my answer anyway.

First of all, you are definitely not ready to make a commitment to Bill. He has disappointed you a lot so how could you really trust him. If he shows up, and starts coming around again, I would date him but you need to see how he handles this relationship.

You don't need to explain your self to either of these guys. I would see both of them and then see what happens.

Don't tell either of them about the other just yet. I think you like Bob, but you are not in love with him at this point. You can't really judge your feelings since, in your mind, you never really ended it with Bill.

Since Bill has a car now, see how he handles coming to see you. If he proves himself reliable over the next several months, you actually might have something to decide.

Right now, tell yourself that it is OK to play the field until you are more sure of the situation.
If you feel uncomfortable about not telling Bob, you could say that you want to go out with him but you just don't feel ready for an exclusive relationship.

If you can, see both of them and after a while, you will know what to do.

If Bill does prove worthy of you, and you still feel so strongly about him, make sure he completely comes through when he says he will. The very worst feeling is to be in a relationship with someone who flakes on you all the time.

Believe me, you are not ready to decide anything right now. Just hang loose for a while and see what feelings develop.

Dr. TRuth

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