I'm in Love with My Friend (She has a Boyfriend)
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I am 16 years old and I have a problem.
I have just started really talking to a girl who I've liked for
along time. I mean, I have talked to her before, but now we are REALLY talking,
and I love every second of it.
My problem is her boyfriend.
They are very close, and it always seems
to go against me, you know like he can provide her more cause he is 2 years
older and has a car and makes more money than me. Yada yada.
Anyway, I have never met this guy, but I have had situations where
he has been involved. Like a few years ago I sort of liked this other girl
and before I knew it, he walked straight over my 'ground work' and got her.
And now I have the same guy in my problem, and I don't know what I can do.
It's not like I want the girl I like now to just drop everything cause I said so.
She doesn't even know I like her, but I know she has a soft spot for me, I
What can I do?
What if I tell her what I feel and she never talks to me again.
I know this sounds a little self-involved but I really really
like this girl, and I have
had a bad run with girls in the past.
Should I tell her?
Should I wait?
What do I do?
"Just a Friend"
Dear "Just a Friend"
The best way not to have a bad run with girls is to
chose girls who are emotionally available.
If a girl truly likes you, the fact that her boyfriend has a car
should not matter all that much.
I think part of your
problem is that you lack the self-confidence to
believe that girls will really like you just because
you are you and feel that that is special enough.
There is nothing like the magic of self-esteem to
magnetize people towards us. That is what you need to
If she is really that close to her bf, even
though she might have a soft spot for you doesn't mean
that she is ready to leave him.
In fact, one way of
setting yourself up for failure is to horn in on
someone else's territory.
If you really do need to
pursue this, you can ask her how serious her
That is a safe way of finding out
what is up with them.
If she gets all misty and says
she loves him, forget it.
If she acts kind of
ambivalent, tell her you think she's worth more than
If she takes you up on it, fine.
If not, keep
on being her friend and find someone who isn't
This will certainly increase your
chances of finding a girl who likes you just for
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