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Love and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - Dr. TRuth - our own "Links 2 Love" - love doctor serves up the truth...

Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

    I live in central Europe, and I would like to ask you a couple of questions.
     I have a big problem.

I am 18 years old and I never had a girlfriend in my life (laugh all you want!).

     Girls in my town only like boys who are handsome and popular. I am fat, and that deflects most of the girls from me.

     Please, don't give me diet advice, that could solve my problem, but I want people to accept me the way I am.

     I don't consider myself a Sumo wrestler.
    I have a cute baby face, normaly shaped healthy teeth and a normal nose and ears.

     Now that you know something about my looks, let me tell you what bugs me.

     I don't know how to approach to a girl (in a disco or somewhere else), I am always affraid of getting myself embaresed in front of a girl.

     I am not saying that I am a shy little boy, no, I have a great sense for humour and I am very romantic and gentle.

     Sometimes I spend hours and hours of imagining myself with a girl.

     I think how I would kiss her or entertain her and she laughs with her sweet smile.

     Please, tell me how to attract girls, I am very desperate.
     I have a simple friendship with some girls,they know me very well and they think I am a very good person.

     I have some friends who behave very badly with their girlfriends, I think that if those girls were with me they would be much happier.

     I wish to give my love to someone because I know that I have so much to give, but nobody is interested.

     And now let me finish this message. I would be very thankful for any kind of advice.


Mr. X

Dear Mr. X,

    Thank you for your letter. It is always wonderful to hear from people from all over the world and your English is excellent.

    I can tell that your self confidence suffers because of your weight.
Unfortunately, this is a problem in America as well.

    We live a world in which a person's physique means a lot especially at your age.

    Teenage girls love muscles because they consider it very masculine and that's what they are attracted to.

    The boys that are most successful with girls in high school are those like the ones you've described and they treat girls like they are a dime a dozen.

    Young men such as yourself see this and it makes you more and more insecure.

    Now here is the good news.
Looks matter the most when you are in high school.

    After that, personality, character, intelligence and charm count more than they do at this age.

    This probably doesn't help you right now but there are some actions you can take to help things along.

    What you really lack is self-esteem.

    I define this as the magnet that attracts and holds friends and girlfriends. People that feel insecure about their looks, etc. tend to not be as popular as those who don't.

    I can tell by your letter that you are not insecure in other areas.

    Wanting people to like you for yourself is a good thing but, on the other hand, you have to be the best self that you can be!

    One achieves this by working as hard as you can to achieve and accomplish those things which make you (not others) feel good and, in this way, self-confidence begins to grow.

    Now, while I certainly will not tell you to lose weight, I will tell you that becoming your best self physically and emotionally will help you to feel better and to have more self-confidence.

    This is not really changing yourself; rather, it is learning to develop and grow into a mature individual with good self-esteem.

    Whether this means working out mentally and physically, being an absolutely wonderful friend, being good at a sport, being very well-informed...it really doesn't matter.

    At your age, what matters is learning to really place value on making ourselves the best we can be in all areas of our life.

    From what I can tell from your letter, your personality is wonderful and you a smart, sensitive and have a sense of fun.

    You figure out what you need to do to make yourself into the most confident guy around.

    The girls will be forming lines to go out with you.

    Good luck!
    Please keep in touch with me. I will always be interested in your progress.

Dr. TRuth

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Love advice and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - just ask doctor love.