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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I've been with my fiance for 2 years. I have lived
with him for one year.
We have been engaged for 16 months
and now I feel like a
He watches my every step, I go to
work and he rings me to
see what I am doing.
He meets me at the bus stop
We don't go out
anymore because he doesn't want other men looking at
Basically I feel like
I seem to be constantly miserable and if I am happy
he wants to know why (just in case I'm having an affair!).
I love him very much
but I don't know if this
is the person I want to be with for the rest of my
Recently I have met a man 6 years older than me who
I am very attracted to.
sends me flowers all the time, chocolates, teddies
you name it.
Over the last
week he has taken me out everyday in the little
spare time I get.
slept with him and he tells me he likes me alot and
wants to spend his life
I don't want to carry on cheating, but I dont
know which path to take.
You already know the answer to your question!
you have gotten to know your fiance well enough to
know that neither of you is really ready to marry.
Just the fact that you are cheating on him during your
engagement, usually a time when people at least try to
stay faithful, is a very bad sign.
I don't know if you
have anywhere else to go, but if I were you, I would
simply tell him that you don't think you're ready for
this kind of commitment and that you need some time to
Please don't forget that people change so much
in their early twenties that you might be a completely
different person in a few years.
I would caution you
against marrying him at this point. You will only
continue to feel guilty about the cheating and you
have already formed an emotional attachment to a man
who is more mature.
Further, his possessiveness is not
healthy and the fact that you already feel like an old
married women does not bode well for a successful
Give yourself a break here.
work out better in the long run. Trust me on this.