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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I've run into a bit of a problem that I sincerely
hope you can help me out
with.
First off, I'm a 20 year old guy with a
history of bad relationships.
I just lost my girlfriend of 4 years less than 6
months ago, and now I've
got another problem.
I recently met a girl on the
internet. She is
wonderful.
We have everything in common, she makes
me feel happy, she's
adorable, she's just everything I always wanted and
thought I'd never find.
Just one problem.
After telling me she was 19 and
letting me believe that
for a month now, she revealed to me last night that
she's only 16. And that
she's in love with me.
I must admit, I'm feeling
those old familiar
feelings as well.
But this puts a hitch in my
proverbial get-up.
What am I
supposed to do?
I'm apparently her first love, but
just how genuine is that
love?
And what the heck am I supposed to do with
the feelings that I've
already developed for her?
She may not know what
true love is, but I do.
And I'm feeling it.
I'm completely at a loss. I
can't just walk off and
leave her.
But I'm 20 years old. I can't develop a
serious relationship
with a 16 year old girl, can I?
I really need some
help here.
I've got no
clue what to do.
Please, help me, Doc.
--Unintentional Cradle Robber
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Dear UIC
First let me say that I appreciate the sincerity of
your feelings and your desire to do the right
thing.
One thing you haven't told me is whether or not
you have actually the met the young woman you think
you are in love with.
Second, since this is something
of a rebound relationship, you need to question
whether you have fallen in love because you are lonely
and needy or whether having someone else right now is
just helpful in your recovery from a very long four
year relationship!
I need to tell you that I have a
prejudice against Internet based relationships and
that they are not real unless you have spent a
considerable amount of time with the person "in
person."
Third, the fact that she has lied to you
consistently doesn't make me feel really good about
how truthful she is in general.
Basically, out of your
loneliness and sadness about having your previous
relationship fail, you have created a mythological
girl out of the Web who has been untruthful from Day
One.
My advice is to tell her that she is way to
young, that you don't appreciate her being untruthful
and that you would just like to be friends for right
now.
Second, tell yourself that you need some time and
space to get over the relationship you started when
you were just 16 yourself.
Remember how long ago that
was and how much you've changed since then?
Do you
really need another young adolescent to start over
with?
Good luck and thank you for your excellent
question!
Let me know how it goes.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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