James Joyce to Nora Barnacle - classic love letter, famous love letter, and classic letters of love

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Problems dealing with her life, depression and feels that her boyfriend is pulling away...

Love advice for a girl in college who is having problems dealing with her life, is depressed and feels that her boyfriend is pulling away...

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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost sixteen months, and our relationship has been wonderful until recently.
I have been going through a hard time lately, including a disastrous move, college, and depression.
It seems like we're just fading away. I find it very hard to talk to him, especially about my problems, and he doesn't open up to me.
Our relationship is all I can think of, and it's even driven me to be jealous and suspect him of straying (I'm usually never jealous and I am very trusting).
I'm incredibly confused and heartbroken.
I love him very much and I do not want to let him go.
It breaks my heart to see our love disappearing like this.
Please help me.

Lost in Love

Dear "L in L"

It occurs to me after reading your letter that you have been through a fairly trying time and that your first concern should not be your boyfriend but what you can do to recover for yourself.
I know you love him but the bottom line is that no boyfriend can fix us and he probably is sensing your need to be rescued right now and is pulling back a bit.
You have not given me details about what has happened to you but words like "depression" and "disastrous" are triggers that tell me you need to deal with the emotional issues that have caused you to feel this way.
One of the difficult things about experiencing times like this is that it causes us to distort reality.
Right now, because of what you've gone through, you may not be feeling as lovable as you normally would which makes you feel that he is pulling back.
Further, no one can "fix" us when we feel this way.
We have to take a good, long look at ourselves and figure out how to pull ourselves out of a downward spiral.
A good counselor can be very helpful at times like this and will be able to help to restore you to feeling more like yourself.
I assume from your letter that you are in your early to mid twenties. It is not at all unusual for people your age to go through periods where life is confusing, painful and overwhelming.
There are many developmental issues which occur around this time that are painful and difficult to confront: finishing school, leaving home, deciding what to do professionally, mate selection, etc.
I think this is the very best age to seek some professional help to sort all this out.
After you get yourself back, you can work on your relationship.
Remember that without self-esteem and an inner sense of security, we can't really be with anyone else now, can we!
Please trust that once this is sorted out, your boyfriend will see things in a new light and if it isn't meant to be, someone else even better for you will find you!

Dr. TRuth

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Problems dealing with life and her boyfriend is pulling away... girl has depression.