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Problems dealing with a boyfriend that always ends up fighting or having arguments...

Love advice for a girl who wants help because she and her boyfriend seem to ALWAYS fight and end up in an argument...









   Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now, and I love him dearly, but it seems like we can't go two days without arguing or fighting.

I have a feeling like one of these days I'm not going to be able to handle it anymore and we will split.

I don't want this to happen, but nothing seems to work. I'm always pulling him aside and talking about how we need to stop because things are going to get worse if we don't.

He agrees, but then it never works out.

I know he loves me, but please tell me how we can stop fighting...

Thanx,
Confused




Dear Confused,

What do you fight about?

This is more of a communication issue than anything else, but frequent fighting says to me that there are some underlying issues in the relationship that need to be worked on.

Sometimes couples fight about things that don't matter because they are not really talking about the things that do matter!

Ask yourself the following questions:

What are the real issues in this relationship that are not being addressed?
How do the two of you handle these things.

Are you able to be open and honest?

Can you actually listen well and respond to each other?

Does it feel like things get settled so that both of you feel OK with the solutions?

It sounds as though nothing that gets said has any results in terms of behavior change.

I don't know how old you are but is counseling an option?

There are reasons the two of you are at each others' throats. Until you find out what they are, nothing will change.

See if you can get him to tell you why he is unhappy, either with himself or with you.

Listen with an open heart. Then, do the same for him. Try not to get defensive with what he says.

It may release a lot of the tension the two of you seem to be feeling and things just may get better!

Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth





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My boyfriend and I ALWAYS fight and end up in an argument...