Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I've have been with my girlfriend for a little
over a month.
I met her at a high school basketball
game near my town.
She contacted me after the game and told me that she
had found me attractive.
I thought she was
attractive too but didn't think I had a chance with
Well we have gone out a few times and things
were going very well.
I never believed in love at
first sight but I love her and she has told me that
she loves me.
Then something happened.
into some physical intimacy and got caught up in the
moment (nothing more then petting and kissing
She told me that she didn't
want to do that anymore.
But recently we got into
that situation again.
She was the starting to do
some of these things and I couldn't stop though I
knew it was wrong.
Afterwards I could tell
something was wrong and I felt absolutely horrible
about it. I've been sick since then.
The next day
we got together to talk about it and she told me
that she has been thinking about another guy. One
that has moved away but might come back in the near
She was planning on breaking it off with me
that night but she just couldn't do it because it was
hurting us both.
Since then she has been praying
for an answer of what she should do with us.
since then she has told me that she loves me.
confused as to what is going to happen.
I love her
also and I don't want to lose her.
I have never
felt like this for a person and I feel that if she
leaves me, the person I was destined to be with has
walked out of my life.
My question is what should I
do and what do you think about the whole situation?
Confused in Ohio
I know how confusing it can be to rush into an
infatuation with a total stranger and mistake it for
These feelings are compelling and strong
but please don't assume that just because you feel
this way, it is the real thing!
As a matter of fact,
you may feel this way many times over before you
actually meet "Miss Right"!
What you did and what you
feel, however, are completely normal.
Your friend is a
confused young woman who probably got into this a
little deeper than she had intended and now feels
ambivalent and a little sorry.
There is no doubt she
is attracted to you but it sounds like she likes the
fantasy better than the reality; that's why she brings
up the guy that might come back soon.
What you need
to do now is totally chill about this.
I know it
sounds hard but do not push her or ask her for
anything right now.
Back off, give her space and see
Never lower yourself by chasing after
You should have enough self-confidence to
know they will come to you if it is meant to be.
is not to say you should not approach at all, but if
she acts ambivalent, tell her that you deserve better
than that and that when she makes up her mind, she
should call you.
That gives you the upper hand and it
takes her out of the driver's seat.
This girl has a
lot of growing up to do.
Until she does, a
relationship with her would be impossible anyway.
her you respect her need to be confused and that you
may or not be around when she comes to her senses.