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Love advice for a guy who's dating a girl who can't make up her mind...

Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I've have been with my girlfriend for a little over a month.

I met her at a high school basketball game near my town.

She contacted me after the game and told me that she had found me attractive.
I thought she was attractive too but didn't think I had a chance with her.

Well we have gone out a few times and things were going very well.
I never believed in love at first sight but I love her and she has told me that she loves me.
Then something happened.

We rushed into some physical intimacy and got caught up in the moment (nothing more then petting and kissing certain areas).
She told me that she didn't want to do that anymore.
But recently we got into that situation again.

She was the starting to do some of these things and I couldn't stop though I knew it was wrong.

Afterwards I could tell something was wrong and I felt absolutely horrible about it. I've been sick since then.

The next day we got together to talk about it and she told me that she has been thinking about another guy. One that has moved away but might come back in the near future.

She was planning on breaking it off with me that night but she just couldn't do it because it was hurting us both.

Since then she has been praying for an answer of what she should do with us.

Also since then she has told me that she loves me.

I am confused as to what is going to happen.

I love her also and I don't want to lose her.

I have never felt like this for a person and I feel that if she leaves me, the person I was destined to be with has walked out of my life.

My question is what should I do and what do you think about the whole situation?

Confused in Ohio

Dear Ohio

I know how confusing it can be to rush into an infatuation with a total stranger and mistake it for real love.

These feelings are compelling and strong but please don't assume that just because you feel this way, it is the real thing!

As a matter of fact, you may feel this way many times over before you actually meet "Miss Right"!

What you did and what you feel, however, are completely normal.

Your friend is a confused young woman who probably got into this a little deeper than she had intended and now feels ambivalent and a little sorry.

There is no doubt she is attracted to you but it sounds like she likes the fantasy better than the reality; that's why she brings up the guy that might come back soon.

What you need to do now is totally chill about this.

I know it sounds hard but do not push her or ask her for anything right now.

Back off, give her space and see what happens.

Never lower yourself by chasing after someone.

You should have enough self-confidence to know they will come to you if it is meant to be.

This is not to say you should not approach at all, but if she acts ambivalent, tell her that you deserve better than that and that when she makes up her mind, she should call you.

That gives you the upper hand and it takes her out of the driver's seat.

This girl has a lot of growing up to do.

Until she does, a relationship with her would be impossible anyway.

Tell her you respect her need to be confused and that you may or not be around when she comes to her senses.

Dr. TRuth

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Love advice for a guy who's dating a girl who can't decide if she's his girlfriend or not, kiss, or not...