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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I've been seeing my boyfriend for five years now.
For the first year or so, my boyfriend couldn't
keep his hands off me he was always wanting sex, but
now for the past couple of years he has lacked in
the amount of sex he has with me he never seems to
want it anymore.
I'm lucky if we have sex four times
a month its not our ages as were both in our early
twenties.
I know that it's supposed to die off after
a few years anyway but this is beyond a joke.
I feel
rejected, un-loved, and very insecure.
I have just
recently asked him if he was having sex with his
hand and his reply was yes!
That made me feel ten
times worse than I was already feeling.
I offer him
sex on a plate all of the time so I can't understand
why.
But when I asked him this he said it's just a
man thing and that it is normal for him to be doing
this, but surely if I'm offering it to him on a plate
he should be taking it from me, (the real thing)
instead of doing it to himself.
I don't understand
him please can you advise me on what I should do
next?
From anon
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Dear Anonymous
First of all, don't take this personally.
Your
boyfriend appears to be depressed and stressed and is
using sex as a release rather than an act of love.
This tell me that either there are issues in the
relationship which he is unable to address or that he
himself is going through something which makes an
intimate relationship with someone else very
difficult.
My advice is, rather than pressuring him,
try to tell him that you would like him to be open
about what he is going through.
If he says, "nothing,"
don't believe him.
This kind of behavior is usually
symptomatic of some deeper issues.
Further, I have no
idea about what his relationship or family history is,
and all of this definitely impacts his sexual
attitudes and adjustment.
You and he need to do some
major communicating outside of the bedroom before
things heat up again.
He is definitely holding things
in and you are feeling the brunt of it.
Be
understanding and sympathetic and stop pressuring him.
Maybe if he feels your warmth and compassion, he will
remember why he fell in love with you.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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