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Love advice for a girl whose boyfriend doesn't want sex - with her...

   Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I've been seeing my boyfriend for five years now.

For the first year or so, my boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off me he was always wanting sex, but now for the past couple of years he has lacked in the amount of sex he has with me he never seems to want it anymore.

I'm lucky if we have sex four times a month its not our ages as were both in our early twenties.

I know that it's supposed to die off after a few years anyway but this is beyond a joke.

I feel rejected, un-loved, and very insecure.

I have just recently asked him if he was having sex with his hand and his reply was yes!

That made me feel ten times worse than I was already feeling.

I offer him sex on a plate all of the time so I can't understand why.

But when I asked him this he said it's just a man thing and that it is normal for him to be doing this, but surely if I'm offering it to him on a plate he should be taking it from me, (the real thing) instead of doing it to himself.

I don't understand him please can you advise me on what I should do next?

From anon

Dear Anonymous

First of all, don't take this personally.

Your boyfriend appears to be depressed and stressed and is using sex as a release rather than an act of love.

This tell me that either there are issues in the relationship which he is unable to address or that he himself is going through something which makes an intimate relationship with someone else very difficult.

My advice is, rather than pressuring him, try to tell him that you would like him to be open about what he is going through.

If he says, "nothing," don't believe him.

This kind of behavior is usually symptomatic of some deeper issues.

Further, I have no idea about what his relationship or family history is, and all of this definitely impacts his sexual attitudes and adjustment.

You and he need to do some major communicating outside of the bedroom before things heat up again.
He is definitely holding things in and you are feeling the brunt of it.

Be understanding and sympathetic and stop pressuring him.
Maybe if he feels your warmth and compassion, he will remember why he fell in love with you.

Dr. TRuth

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