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Relationship Advice for a Tongue-tied Guy from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
Hey doc, there's this girl that I really like, but every time I try to talk
to her I have absolutely nothing to say.
I met her because my friend
introduced me to her, and just the other day I went to her house.
I was
really boring and didn't really say anything but I'm usually the life of the
party when I'm around my friends. This isn't the first time that this has
happened either, actually it happens every time I meet a nice girl.
Can you
give me some help?
Boring
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Dear Boring
You suffer from getting tongue-tied but only around
the girls you like. I don't know if it helps you to
know that everyone is like this.
You get shy in these
situations because you feel you have something to
lose.
What this tells me about you is that beneath
your "life of the party" exterior, you probably lack
some self-esteem. You are afraid that if you put
yourself out there with someone who means something to
you, you will get rejected.
There is a wide
range of behavior from introvert to extrovert. In
these situations, try to not focus on yourself, but on
how the girl in question might be feeling.
You can
flirt but in a subtle way.
Here's how: smile, look
into her eyes, touch her arm, laugh at her jokes,
compliment her and ask her questions about herself.
This will take some of the focus off you. No one can
resist someone who acts appreciative of them. Try it.
What is the worst that can happen. All she can do is
reject you.
If she rejects you, whatever! Someone else
will like you.
We all get rejected a lot before we
meet the right person, but if we don't "go for it", we
lose many opportunities that could turn into something
good.
Just remember, other people feel as shy and insecure
as we do. The really popular people know how to rise
above their own insecurity and make others feel
comfortable and safe.
Try it, it works.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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