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Love advice for a guy who's in a new relationship (3 months) and is concerned that his girlfriend is cooling down.

   Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I'm looking for a little relationship advice and this looks like the place to ask!

I've been dating this girl for just about 3 months now and it's absolutely incredible.

We do tons together and whenever we are together it just feels right.

We can talk about anything and our relationship just keeps getting better.

Now, by getting better I mean I'm always looking for ways to make it better. By now we both realize our lives are both crazy and hectic but we still find time to make room for each other, but when I try to make the relationship better, lately it seems, like she's less surprised and happy.

Could this be just me pampering her too much, or am I not showing her that I like her enough?

When buying her gifts, I've done just about all the original ideas and a few creative ones myself but still it seems lately that it doesn't have quite the same effect?
Is this to much pampering for only 3 months?

Is there any advice you have on getting this relationship "back to like it was in the beginning?"

Also, we have talked about how she has reservations about a past relationship that I was seriously involved in. I'm way over this past girl, and she knows it and I know it. She just says that it is a mental thing for her and I believe her cause she has had this problem in past relationships and sometimes that is why she has called those past relationships off.

That is one reason why I believe that we are a very strong couple cause in the past this sort of issue has caused the relationship to end, but not ours.

I was wondering if there was any advice you could give to maybe help and confirm to her that I'm way over the past relationship and only like her?

Maybe I should add that I'm a junior in high school so maybe I'm making to big of a deal out of all this but overall I'm just concerned about getting back to the way we used to be in the days after we started dating.

Not that the relationship is in total disarray, just a little fine tuning.

She is pretty independent minded which I think may also be preventing her from getting really close, cause in the past when she thought it was all good in her relationships and started getting close with a guy, they broke up with her and I believe that is the determining factor preventing anything from advancing?

Any advice on all of this?


What's going on?

Dear What's,

Don't we all wish we could recapture the magic a relationship has during its first few months!

I see how hard you are working to make this work and it sounds like you're doing a good job.

As hard as this is, my advice is to just "chill" with all of this and have the confidence to know that she likes you just for you without all the trappings of special gifts and little surprises.

You may be trying way too hard and you probably don't have to! You sound like a great guy!

Know that if someone doesn't like us just for who we are, but constantly needs reassurance and proof, they either are not ready for a relationship or they don't have the confidence to be in one!

Don't forget that relationships have stages.

The beginning is very magical but then as time wears on, people tend to be frightened that they have gotten too close too soon and then they back off a little bit!

If she is worried about your past relationship, beside reassuring her that it is over, there is not much you can do except to continue to show her through your actions that you only want to be with her!

I think you are doing everything right. If the feelings between you are real, and the two of you are able to communicate, things will work out.

Remember that the feeling of being valued and appreciated is not replaceable and the best thing you can do is value and appreciate how loving, honest and sincere you are being with her!

She'll get the picture. Don't worry!

Dr. TRuth

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Love advice for a guy who's concerned about his new relationship and his girlfriend cooling down...