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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I'm looking for a little relationship
advice and this looks
like the place to ask!
I've been dating this girl for just about 3 months
now and it's absolutely
incredible.
We do tons together and whenever we are
together it just feels
right.
We can talk about anything and our
relationship just keeps getting
better.
Now, by getting better I mean I'm always
looking for ways to make it
better. By now we both realize our lives are both
crazy and hectic but we
still find time to make room for each other, but when
I try to make the
relationship better, lately it seems, like she's
less surprised and happy.
Could this be just me pampering her too much, or am I
not showing her that I
like her enough?
When buying her gifts, I've done
just about all the original
ideas and a few creative ones myself but still it
seems lately that it doesn't
have quite the same effect?
Is this to much
pampering for only 3 months?
Is
there any advice you have on getting this
relationship "back to like it was
in the beginning?"
Also, we have talked about how she
has reservations about a
past relationship that I was seriously involved in.
I'm way over this past
girl, and she knows it and I know it. She just says
that it is a mental thing
for her and I believe her cause she has had this
problem in past
relationships and sometimes that is why she has
called those past
relationships off.
That is one reason why I believe
that we are a very strong
couple cause in the past this sort of issue has
caused the relationship to
end, but not ours.
I was wondering if there was any
advice you could give to
maybe help and confirm to her that I'm way over the
past relationship and
only like her?
Maybe I should add that I'm a junior
in high school so maybe
I'm making to big of a deal out of all this but
overall I'm just concerned
about getting back to the way we used to be in the
days after we started
dating.
Not that the relationship is in total
disarray, just a little fine
tuning.
She is pretty independent minded which I
think may also be preventing
her from getting really close, cause in the past
when she thought it was all
good in her relationships and started getting close
with a guy, they broke up
with her and I believe that is the determining
factor preventing anything
from advancing?
Any advice on all of this?
Thanks!
What's going on?
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Dear What's,
Don't we all wish we could recapture the magic a
relationship has during its first few months!
I see
how hard you are working to make this work and it
sounds like you're doing a good job.
As hard as this
is, my advice is to just "chill" with all of this and
have the confidence to know that she likes you just
for you without all the trappings of special gifts and
little surprises.
You may be trying way too hard and
you probably don't have to!
You sound like a great guy!
Know that if someone doesn't like us just for
who we are, but constantly needs reassurance and
proof, they either are not ready for a relationship or
they don't have the confidence to be in one!
Don't
forget that relationships have stages.
The beginning
is very magical but then as time wears on, people tend
to be frightened that they have gotten too close too
soon and then they back off a little bit!
If she is
worried about your past relationship, beside
reassuring her that it is over, there is not much you
can do except to continue to show her through your
actions that you only want to be with her!
I think
you are doing everything right. If the feelings
between you are real, and the two of you are able to
communicate, things will work out.
Remember that the
feeling of being valued and appreciated is not
replaceable and the best thing you can do is value and
appreciate how loving, honest and sincere you are
being with her!
She'll get the picture. Don't worry!
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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