James Joyce to Nora Barnacle - classic love letter, famous love letter, and classic letters of love

Home Page

Click here for Sweet Table of Contents
Table of Contents

Relationship Advice

Love Quotes

Love Poetry

icon icon
Dessert's On Me! Personalized Chocolate Body Paint

icon icon
You Complete Me Personalized Break Apart Heart Key Ring

Romantic 12-pc
12 Pieces Romantic Chocolate

Love advice and relationship advice about a guy who doesn't want to talk about things....

Links 2 Love

Relationship advice for a girl who is set to get married to a guy who doesn't want to discuss issues. He just wants things to go smoothly and be nice - not difficult and doesn't want to talk... She wants to know what to do about him - when she wants more Love advice and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - Dr. TRuth - our own "Links 2 Love" - love doctor serves up the truth with her unparalled relationship advice ...

want to know what to do about him -- since he won't kiss me and all...
Is this a relationship? Engagement rings, marriage proposals >>>

Gift Baskets >>>


He Doesn't Want to Talk About Problems...

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I am getting married in four months. I have been engaged for four years. However, my fiancee and I have at least two major issues. I just don't know if this is serious enough for me to consider backing down from marriage.

My fiancee and I are not seeing eye to eye on money issues. He feels that when we are married once the bills are paid for each person should have allowance money to spend. The catch is the other person should not ask what the money was spent on.

An example is, he spends money on CD's or a football jersey that's over $200.00. If he used it from his allowance money I should not complain. I'm not ok with this. My parents have been together for over 30 years and consult every detail of their expenses together. My fiancee feels that this is like "reporting" to the mate.

My other problem is that whenever something bothers me (other than money matters), I feel I can't tell him without getting upset.

I email him or try over the phone. This doesn't work. He never wants to hear the bad he only wants things to always be on the upbeat. However, I have issues I want to discuss.

I feel he keeps me from expressing my feelings which turn into resentment. Lately, I have really been questioning my relationship.

Please help me. I'm getting married in four months and am afraid of failing. Please Help ME!!!! Any advice will much be appreciated. I need to hear an expert's advice.

THank you,

Miss G.

Dear "G"

You are right about one thing: these issues will not go away once you are married and need to be resolved ASAP.

Before I get into the issues themselves, you two need to seek some kind of premarital counseling before the wedding. Many couples do this with excellent results. You two have known each other for four years. I wonder why you are just beginning to get scared.

You are with someone who basically does not allow you to communicate with him and who shuts out anything he doesn't want to hear. How can a relationship progress unless the two of you can really talk.

While I think each partner should have discretionary cash to spend as they choose, your problems are way deeper than money. As a rule, money issues are usually symbolic of deeper problems. I think your fiance, for whatever reason, has difficulty dealing with anything he doesn't want to hear.

Marriage is a long and serious lifetime arrangement. It is virtually impossible that issues won't arise which he will need to address.

You obviously come from parents who had an exceptionally close relationship. You are engaged to someone who believes that nothing serious needs to or can be discussed. This belief system does not bode well for a relationship in which problems which come up can be solved and the fact that you are already feeling resentment is a bad sign.

My advice is to tell him that you need to find some kind of forum in which you two can talk about the underlying issues before you go ahead with this marriage.

What else can you do unless you plan to hold things in for the rest of your lives together! Tell him that your mutual future happiness with each other depends on open and honest communication.

Frankly, without it, this marriage, or any relationship for that matter, doesn't stand much of a chance.

Dr. TRuth

If you liked this advice, you might find these letters helpful:
  •    "Why do we fight about money?"

  •    "We're Newlyweds - Why Do We Fight All the Time?"

  • Like this relationship advice page?
    Send it to a friend!

    About Links 2 Love | Links 2 Love Policy & Legal Information | Contact Us |

    Copyright© Links2Love.com All Rights Reserved

    Produced by: Scopelink, Inc.

    Key To My Heart

    Key To My Heart

    Relationship advice for a girl who is set to get married to a guy who doesn't want to discuss issues. 4 months before the wedding, she realizes they have real problems. He just wants things to go smoothly and be nice - not difficult and doesn't want to talk... from flirting to getting a date to breaking up -- even dealing with the situation where you want to be more than friends - just ask doctor love for relationship advice - and what to do about a guy if he only wants to be a friend -- or 'just friends', doesn't want a romantic relationship, just a friendship, and you want more...