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Love & Other Songs for Every Occasion
Music- It makes the people come together.

Songs for every occasion... And when two people aren't coming together quite to their mutual satisfaction, well, music is good for that too.
Ever since Neanderthal man beat his head against a rock because Neanderthal woman ditched him for a sexy, upright-walking Cro-Magnon dude, music has been there to salve many a broken heart.

Regardless of where you are in the relationship spectrum (hopeless crush, 20th anniversary or sworn off love for good), there's a song out there that matches your situation like a needle to a groove.

Top 5 Songs About Liking Someone Who Already Has a Boyfriend/Girlfriend
1.  Ani DiFranco, "Untouchable Face"
2.  Eric Clapton, "Layla"
(George Harrison's wife, no less)
3.  Green Day, "Why Do You Want Him?"
(Actually, this is the subject of the entire first three Green Day albums.)
4.  Rick Springfield, "Jessie's Girl"
(This is also good for realizing that you should be worried about girls, not coke deals, a la Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights.)
5.  The Cars, "My Best Friend's Girl"

Top 5 Can't-Fail Songs to Play to Clinch the Deal and Make Mr./Miss Hesitant Drop the Resistance and Give You the Love You Need
1.  Stevie Wonder, "Overjoyed"
2.  Depeche Mode, "Enjoy The Silence"
3.  D'Angelo, "Untitled (How Does It Feel)"
4.  Al Green, "Here I Am (Come and Take Me)"
5.  Nina Simone, "Do I Move You?"
Top 5 Songs About Tragic, Star-Crossed Love That Will Never Work But Will Probably Make You Feel Better About Your Current Situation
1.  Radiohead, "Exit Music (For A Film)"
2.  Outkast, "Miss Jackson" and its response, Erykah Badu's "Green Eyes"
3.  Bob Dylan, "Tangled Up In Blue"
4.  U2, "Stay, (Faraway, So Close)"
5.  J. Frank Wilson & the Cavaliers (or Pearl Jam, if you prefer), "Last Kiss"
Top 5 Songs About The Fact That No One Will Ever Love You
1.  Morrissey, "Will Never Marry"
(Morrissey could probably dominate this list, so we're limiting it to one of his songs.)
2.  Liz Phair, "Divorce Song"
3.  Gilbert O' Sullivan, "Alone Again, Naturally"
4.  The Smashing Pumpkins, "Soma"
5.  The Beatles, "Eleanor Rigby"
Top 5 Songs About Killing Your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend
(Note: Please do not kill your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. We don't have time to give your new flame the Top 5 Songs if Your Honey Is on Death Row)
1.  Jimi Hendrix, "Hey Joe"
(originally written by Billy Roberts, but Jimi is much more dramatic.)
2.  Guns N' Roses, "Used To Love Her But I Had To Kill Her"
3.  The Dixie Chicks, "Goodbye, Earl"
4.  Eminem, "Kim"
5.  Poe, "Angry Johnny"
Special bonus: Elvis Costello, "Alison"
Top 5 Songs That Sound Like Love Songs But Are About Something Else Entirely
1.  R.E.M., "The One I Love" (stalking)
2. The Police,  "Every Breath You Take/Don't Stand So Close To Me" (again, stalking)
3. The La's,  "There She Goes" (heroin)
4. Ben Folds Five,  "Brick" (abortion)
5. Old 97's,  "Murder or a Heart Attack"
(the lead singer's cat)
Top 5 Songs About Breaking Up With Someone That You Really Don't Like
1.  Husker Du, "Never Talking To You Again"
2.  PJ Harvey, "Dry"
3.  The Ramones, "I Don't Want To Walk Around With You"
4.  Carly Simon, " You're So Vain (You Probably Think This Song Is About You)"
5.  Limp Bizkit, "Nookie"
(Admit it, you like this song.)
Top 5 Songs About Hopeless Devotion and/or Unrequited Love
1.  Sebadoh, "Willing To Wait"
2.  The Eels, "Jeannie's Diary"
3.  Tori Amos, "1000 Oceans"
4.  The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows"
5.  The Righteous Brothers, "Unchained Melody"
Top 5 Love Songs To Let Someone Know You Like Them When You're Too Shy
1.  Sixpence None the Richer, "Kiss Me"
(Come on, it's a cute song.)
2.  The Jackson Five, "ABC"
3.  Sarah McLachlan, "I Love You"
(Especially good at inspiring pity for your lovesick state.)
4.  Kajagoogoo, "Too Shy"
(Sometimes the obvious works.)
5.  Juliana Hatfield, "Spin the Bottle"
Top 5 Songs About Getting Dumped and Still Being Bitter About It
1.  Biz Markie, "Just A Friend"
2.  Ella Fitzgerald, "Cry Me A River"
(Nothing says revenge like wailing on a classic jazz standard by Arthur Hamilton.)
3.  Lauryn Hill, "Ex-Factor"
4.  Mary-Chapin Carpenter, "Where Time Stands Still"
5.  Alanis Morisette "You Oughta Know"
Special bonus: Aimee Mann, "Build That Wall"
Top 5 Songs About How You Never Thought It Could Be This Good
1.  The Cure, "Just Like Heaven/High"
(Yes, they do have happy songs.)
2.  The Monkees, "I'm A Believer"
3.  Bjork, "Violently Happy"
4.  James Brown, "I Feel Good"
5.  Aretha Franklin, "Natural Woman (You Make Me Feel)"
Top 5 Songs About How They've Done You Wrong But That's OK
1.  Pedro the Lion, "Of Minor Prophets And Their Prostitute Wives" (Key lyric to get you past the prostitute comparison: Come home, darlin'; all is forgiven.)
2.  Nirvana, "About A Girl"
3.  Billie Holiday, "Don't Explain"
4.  Percy Sledge, "When a Man Loves a Woman"
5.  Blur, "Tender"
Top 5 Songs About Love Songs
1.  The Promise Ring, "Make Me A Mix Tape"
2.  Toni Braxton, "Another Sad Love Song"
3.  Bad Livers, "Love Songs Suck"
(OK, so we've never actually heard it, but doesn't the title sound great?)
4.  Lisa Loeb, "Sandalwood"
(This is for those of you who believe all the love songs have been written.)
5.  The Weavers, "Love Song Blues"
And three categories that we couldn't fill with five worthy examples but deserve mentioning anyway:

Having a Crush on a Girl Who Doesn't Like Guys
1.  Weezer, "Pink Triangle"
2.  Reel Big Fish, "She Has a Girlfriend Now"
3.  Ben Harper, "Mama's Got a Girlfriend Now"
Having a Crush on a Metal Head.
1. Nerf Herder, "Pantera Fans in Love"
Liking a Woman and Liking Her Sister As Well
1.  Beck, "Debra"

From: Michael Tedder and Sarah Magill

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