What follows is a guide for those who, in spite of the beauty, wonder and majesty of the world around them, persist in self-defeating and destructive behaviors.

While most of my writing deals with attempts to be happy and joyful, I really can't neglect those who, despite the love and bounty that is available to each of us, choose the opposite path.

Unfortunately, the following beliefs and behaviors are widely practiced, and are very effective in making not only ourselves but those closest to us really miserable.

1. Be a perfectionist.
Don't allow or tolerate mistakes in yourself and others. It is important to be especially hard on those closest to you because they are dependent on you for praise and approval.

2. Compare yourself with others.
Remember, the grass is always much much greener on someone else's lawn. Contentment and joy lie completely out of your own reach and always will come to others before they come to you because they are probably more deserving, smarter or better looking. Never evaluate yourself according to your own progress. Watch others and see how well you stand up when compared to them. After all, other people's values and standards are always more important than your own and can really make you unhappy when they don't go along with yours.

3. When in doubt, chicken out.
If you really want to be unhappy, it is super important not to confront your fears and doubts. No one will really know that you might feel bad or inadequate and you can't possibly look foolish if you stay within your comfort zone. Avoid risk-taking or self-challenging behavior at all costs. If someone confronts you, whine. That is the most effective way of shirking responsibility. On top of that, you will get nowhere fast.

4. Avoid responsibility completely.
If something goes wrong, absolutely blame someone else. That way, you can avoid people getting mad at you because it will always be someone else's fault. If things go wrong, it will never be about something you did and you can get away with just about anything.

5. When overwhelmed-slack off!
Don't ever work too hard to accomplish a goal. It probably won't be worth it anyway. You can always nap or watch TV. It's hard to lose contact with soap opera plot lines. They do get so complicated that they require almost complete and undivided attention. Paying attention to their stories as they unfold allows you to keep abreast discussions about the characters and you will be able to discuss them intelligently. Besides, hard work takes effort and why should you expend yourself unnecessarily.

6. Spend money freely and without restraint.
Buy yourself whatever you want. Don't hold back. It's really important to wear the latest trends in clothes and to have the latest technology in gadgets and equipment. because these things make life important and more meaningful. We all know that material goods and happiness go hand in hand so why be self-limiting. Go for it.

7. Hold grudges.
The world is out to get you. People are mean and those who have harmed you deserve to suffer. Take revenge and never let go of any real or imagined hurt. Collect injustices and pay back all unkindness. Not letting go of pain is the way to go to stay stuck in suffering and will really prevent you from moving on. Forgiveness and letting go is way too taxing.

8. Take everything personally.
It really is all about you. People probably have little else on their minds except making your life miserable. All slights that come your way are intentional and purposeful. Never give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

9.Blame your parents for the condition of your life right now.
This way, you can escape responsibility for taking charge of your life in the present. This rule goes right along with not forgiving and letting go.This way, you can accumulate pain and remain immobile. Mom and Dad really did it to you and it is all their fault that you have problems functioning.

10. Lastly, see everything as black or white, good or bad, heaven or hell.
Being inflexible and rigid will help you see things the way eight year olds do. You won't have to worry about going with the flow, dealing with others effectively, growing up, or understanding the way life works. It also allows you to condemn other's behavior because you won't have to deal with confusing ambiguity or ambivalence.

Remember, if you follow these rules, you will be truly unhappy and will make not only yourself but those around you, your family and friends, truly miserable.

Opting to utilize these destructive beliefs will absolutely prevent you from living well and from maximizing your true potential as a magnificent and evolved human being. The choice is yours.

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