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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I am
in a friendship right now that is very complicated.
I
have been hanging out with him for a very long time.
We talked on the phone, online and in person every day
for several months.
We both get jealous of each other
being with a potential other person and his body
language signifies that he likes me more than
a friend.
All my friends and his friends all say that
he acts as though there is feelings between us that we
don't even have to say anything but they know we have
a "connection."
He centers all his activities on what
I do every weekend and does everything that every guy
will do when they like someone more than a friend.
Problem is he tells everyone that asks him what is
going on that we are just friends and that's all he
sees me as.
I have, during this time, fallen in love
with him.
I don't want to lose our friendship but I
want to be with him more than just a friend!
What am I missing?
The "Friend"
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Dear "Friend"
Unfortunately, this is a very common situation and I
really don't know what's holding your "friend" back.
You don't tell me anything about his background so I
have no way of knowing whether he has been burned in
an earlier relationship which is making him phobic
about entering into a new one.
One thing you can do is
not be so available.
Why should he ask you out when he
can see you anytime he wants to?
My advice would be
to start seeing other people and when he calls,
occasionally tell him you're busy or going out.
Maybe
that will snap him out of the "we're just friends"
routine.
The way it is now, why should he make a move
when he has you anyway?
I also think it would be wise
for you to take a good hard look at his relationship
history to try to understand what is really holding
him back.
Has he had other girlfriends and, if so,
what has happened?
Once you do that, you will know if,
in fact, he is really relationship material anyway.
Maybe friendship is all he can do right now.
The
bottom line is you need to take care of you. He may be
jealous and possessive but unless he steps up to the
plate, what do you really have?
By the way, I would
definitely let him make the first move. He's scared
of something and he has to deal with whatever that is
before he would be ready for anything deeper.
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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