Free relationship advice for woman who is ruining her marriage with jealous feelings
I Want to be More Than Friends with Him

Dr. TRuth,

There is a guy that I have been "dating" on and off for about 6 months.

We were friends first and then we hooked up one night. Since then we've been hanging out a lot.

The problem is that in the beginning we were both dating other people and it was fine, because we were building a friendship/romantic relationship.

Now it seems to me that we are really close. Sometimes I think I love him.

But the problem is he still sometimes hangs out with his ex-girlfriend (who is still completely in love with him) and dates some other girls.

I am dating also, but I realize that the one I truly want is him. Only I can't tell him because I am afraid of losing his friendship as well.

He sometimes says that he can't see us in the "long term" but then he asks what I think. I tell him I just don't know, because I'm afraid that we'll grow apart if he knew how I felt.

He also tells me he can't let go of the ex yet because he can't afford another long term relationship to go bad.

I think he and I have that potential, but I need to know how to show him that.

How can I truly find out about how he feels without completely scaring him off?

Delicate Situation

D Dear Delicate,

He is being really honest.

He is telling you he isn't over his ex and that he can't see the two of you long term. This is all you need to know.

If you pursue this guy, it will probably not be the best thing for you. If someone isn't over their ex and is still dating others, he himself is not emotionally ready for anything more.

Save yourself some heartache and keep the friendship as it is.

If you continue to hook up and be romantic with no commitment, it will only hurt you in the long run.

Perhaps he will want more with you down the road, but frankly, he has everything he wants now, so why should he change anything?
He is definitely not a sure bet.

I wish I had better news. My advice is to withdraw anything physical and romantic, tell him that you respect his wishes to stay friends and that you want to date a lot of people until you are ready to meet the right one.

You may think he is the "right one" but he would have to think so too in order to be a couple.

Doesn't sound to me like he's there yet.

Dr. TRuth

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Relationship advice, love advice and free advice and Love advice and relationship advice and help with any kind of romantic problem from flirting to getting a date to breaking up - just ask doctor love. This relationships advice is for a girl who wants to be more than friends with a guy friend ... from a therapist for people who write letters asking for help with personal problems, boyfriends, girlfriends and more issues with relationships.