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Relationship Advice, Just Friends - NOT!!!

Relationship advice for a girl whose boyfriend suddenly wants to change their relationship to just being friends - he's changed and wants to be 'just a friend'

 Boyfriend and Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth

Dear Dr. TRuth,

I really need some help my boyfriend of two years.
All of a sudden told me he didn't want to be in a relationship with me.

All he wants to be is friends, and he doesn't want to be with anyone right now.
He says he loves me just that he doesn't love me the way I love him. He still has all his things in my house and he calls me "babe."

Now that he broke up with me, he's able to talk to me about everything.

When we were together he was very cold for the last eight months.

I never wanted to fall for him the way I did cause I didn't want to get hurt, now I feel like he took my heart and stomped on it and threw it away like a piece of garbage.
I love him and want to be with him only he says to give him time and "you never know what's gonna happen."

I told him that I would not be with anyone else and that I don't need to be with a man. He says he knows that I'm not going anywhere.

I just feel so hurt and empty inside.

How to I keep going on trying to hide the pain that I feel?
I cry myself to sleep at night. I can't eat.

I feel so lost and empty inside that it's driving me crazy.

Please help.

"Feeling Empty"

Dear Empty

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do!

Your friend doesn't want a relationship, he wants a mother!

While he was able to be intimate with you, he withdrew emotionally.

Now that he doesn't have to be with you, he is able to be intimate.

This kind of behavior indicates an emotional immaturity which has nothing to do with how much he loves you but rather his own emotional ability to really be in a relationship with a woman who loves him and cares for him.

I know that you don't want to lose him but I think the real point here is whether or not you ever really had him.

He will not give you any guarantee of returning nor does he tell you he wants to work on the relationship.

That doesn't give you much to hold on to, does it?

Here's what I think: if you can afford it, get some counseling to help you to recover from this abandonment.

You also need someone to help you deal with the loss of self-esteem which being brutally abandoned engenders.

Since self-esteem is the most important thing we can possibly teach our children, it is essential that you get enough for yourself so that you don't have to beg or plead for this man to come back.

He should want to of his own accord or, not at all!

You need to learn to love yourself enough to choose a man who will honor and love the commitment he has made to you.

Tell your present friend that he has not treated you well and that unless he is willing to really work on things, he should not call you babe or treat you like he is still with you!

He has everything he wants now, doesn't he!
While you are healing, it may be best for you not to hang out with him or even see him.

It is excruciatingly painful to be with someone as a friend that you once had a love relationship with!

Tell him you need time to heal and that you will call him when you are ready to see him again.

Let him miss you and the good things you gave him!

He may just begin to appreciate you again.

In the meantime, if you can learn that you are beautiful, valuable and desirable and really really believe it, if he doesn't come back, you will find someone to give you the love you deserve!

Dr. TRuth

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