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WHO Says "I Love You" First - The Man or Woman?
Who says "I love you" first in a relationship - man or woman?
Who feels happier upon hearing these words - a man or a woman?
Most people would answer "woman" to both.
And most people would be wrong
According to a study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, not only do
men say it first, but they are also happier about hearing it said.
In this study, the majority of subjects believed that women normally say "I love you" first, near the two-month mark.
Surprisingly: The man actually spoke the magic words first in more than 62 percent of relationships.
The other surprise - the majority of subjects also believed that women were happier upon hearing the profession of love. And the majority was once again incorrect as study results indicated that men were happier to receive a confession of love.
The study author's report that, "Consistent with predictions from our model, additional studies have shown that men's and women's reactions to love confessions differ in important ways depending on whether the couple has engaged in sexual activity. These studies have demonstrated that saying and hearing "I love you" has different meanings depending on who is doing the confessing and when the confession is being made."
What does this mean? The motivation of the individual must be taken into account - and, of course, sex is involved.
This study found that while men consider saying "I love you" a full 6 weeks before their partners, the male is also more likely to enjoy hearing those words if the couple has not yet had sex.
In contrast, the female is more likely to enjoy hearing "I love you" from her partner, if sex has already occurred.
So perhaps consciously or unconsciously, the male can be reading the "I love you" statement prior to sex to mean "I'm ready to sleep with you." While the woman in the relationship may worry
that "I love you" from the male before sex indicates it's a move to get her into bed.
Males in the study who were interested in long-term relationships (and not just casual sex), preferred to hear "I love you" after sex.
In addition, males in the study began thinking about professing their love after about 3 months of dating, while females started to think about it after 5 months.
So, the bottom line here indicates the need to communicate, talk about feelings, expectations, needs and build a good relationship.
In the end, it doesn't matter who said "I love you" first once you're together - just take out the time to say it again and remind your partner in some little way about what you do love about them...
If you're into Researching Relationships and the Science of Love -- you might also like:
QUIZZES!
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Dating and relationship issues - psychological study finds men say "I Love You" before women say it.
Who says "I love you" first depends upon expectations - the research finds - ah, the psychology of the male and female and their relationships ...
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