1. Which statement would be the closest to your life 'motto'?
a) Carpe Diem!
b) Do unto others before they do unto you.
c) A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
d) Frought with frivolity, my frailty is feebly failing.
e) Wherever you go, there you are.
f) Love life, laugh often.
g) Vivaldi is a joke.
2. If I could choose to die in one of the following ways, it would be:
a) In my sleep.
b) Slowly, lingering for days while becoming a world spectacle and journalists talk about nothing but me.
c) In a fiery auto crash in the Indy 500, going 200+ miles per hour.
d) To be attacked by a swarm of fire ants while on safari in a far away land.
e) Of a heart attack because I just won $500 million in the lottery.
f) In a swordfight with Captain Kirk.
g) Die, me? Never! I'm immortal, you fool!
3. My favorite food is (choose the closest answer):
a) Captain Crunch Berries.
b) Fried Calamari.
c) Barbeque Chicken Pizza.
d) My own fingernails.
e) Steamed Cauliflower.
f) Vitamin 'B' Tablets.
g) Combination #7 with extra sauce.
4. Which of the following statements have you said out loud this week:
a) Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty I'm free at last!
b) Officer, I'll do anything to get out of this ticket...
c) Mommy? Daddy? Are you there?
d) Yes, I speak Klingon...
e) Have you seen my snake?
f) None of the above.
5. Using only a compass and a straight edge of Euclidean Geometry, construct a square with the same area as a given circle.
a) No way, Jose.
b) This is obviously a classic impossible construction of Geometry....
c) That's easy - the answer is Pi.
d) Navel Oranges.
e) I'll pass, Bob!
6. The 'Home' page on my computer is:
c) Any site with the name "xxx" in it
e) Computer? What's a computer?
7. While taking this test:
a) I laughed uncontrollably throughout.
b) I laughed out loud at a couple of the answers.
c) I cried the entire time.
d) I ate a small animal.
e) I ate a small animal, alive.
f) I memorized Pi to 100 places.