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Relationship Advice from Dr. TRuth |
Dear Dr. TRuth,
I met this girl on the Internet I am afraid she
won't like me when we meet.
I have seen pics of her but because I don't
have a scanner she hasn't
seen any of me.
I think she is quite beautiful and
I am sure most people
would agree.
I am not an attractive guy and the
only people who think I am
are my family members so I tend not to believe them.
I am 18 and have had
only two girlfriends both of which were only with me
because of other
circumstances and not because I was good looking.
I
know you might think I
just solved my own problem but those two times where
different.
Trust me, I
could stand to loose a few pounds, I am as pale a
piece of paper, I don't
have many good features, plus I am inexperienced.
We have talked a lot on an
instant messenger and she seems to like me and we
flirt a little but that is
over the computer.
I really want her to like me.
Its not that I think she
is an unkind person and only cares about looks, but
I think looks are a
factor in any relationship.
We seem compatible on
many levels except for
that one.
I would appreciate any advice.
Sincerely,
'Spooked'
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Dear S,
Your problem is not whether this girl will like you if
she meets you, your problem is that you do not like
yourself.
There is nothing that kills romance faster
than a lack of self-confidence.
Even if she meets you
and does like you, your poor self-esteem will be a
turn off.
My advice is to do whatever it is that you
need to do to build yourself up in your own eyes.
If
you are too heavy, lose the weight! Join a gym,
whatever.
Make a list of your assets and talents and
please, don't tell me you have none!
Life is an
endless process of learning to love and respect who we
are, not only on the outside but on the inside as
well.
The problem about meeting people on the Internet
is that it allows people with similar issues to avoid
confronting the fact that they are afraid of
rejection.
The Internet is like a magic screen which
allows us to project anyone we think we should be.
For
this reason, I discourage this as a way of meeting new
people.
My advice is to get out there, take care of
yourself, figure out what you need to do to like
yourself better, even if it means some counseling, and
learn that you are lovable, likeable and even
adorable.
I can tell by the way you express yourself
in writing that you have a lot going for you.
Now why
don't you know that yourself!
Sincerely,
Dr. TRuth
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