|
|
|
Relationship Advice from Dr. Luvmore |
Dear Dr. Luvmore,
I am a divorced mother of two and recently fell in love with an amazing man. We live about a few hours driving distance apart. We have been together for a few amazing months. We have had a great connection since the day we met.
My problem is that he wants to see me more and be very serious but I want to take my time because I recently finalized my divorce and my young son has not met him yet and I am not ready for that.
He doesn't have a lot of patience because we only see each other a few times a month. He thinks that it is not a stable relationship and that we should just be friends before either one of us gets hurt. I told him last week that I love him and he just admitted to me today that he does too.
I want to try to keep us together. We both have the same feeling for each other and we love spending time together.
When I go home that's when he begins to rethink everything. Everything is perfect when we are together and I don't understand why he wants to give that up.
I think he will always wonder what could have happened between us if he doesn't find out. I know he doesn't want to get hurt and neither do I but how will we know if we don't take a risk.
I don't' know what to do or say. My heart tells me not to give up.
Am I doing the right thing?
Sincerely,
Hoping for the Best
|
|
Dear Hoping for the Best,
It sounds like you have a very good head on your shoulders. You know what you need for you and your four year old - and if that means taking things slowly for now then he needs to come to that understanding. He needs to allow you this time.
His ability to accommodate your emotional needs now will speak volumes about your future with him in a long term relationship.
It does sound to me like he is sending you mixed signals right now though- he loves you, he wants more, but he also has suggested the two of you should be friends before someone gets hurt.
In my
experience, once a couple has declared their love for each other, its usually too late to 'avoid the hurt, and just be friends.'
Take some time to sit down and talk to him (if you haven't already).
Make sure he knows how much you care for him and that you do truly love him.
Also, make sure he realizes how important it is to you, and to the relationship, that you have time to heal from this past relationship.
It will benefit both of you a great deal in the long run.
- Dr. Luvmore
|
|
|
|
|
